Many a man has questioned and felt frustrated as to why he can’t seem to last longer in bed before ejaculation. A lot of this pressure to last indefinitely stems from men who have been led to believe that he needs to go on and on convincing, himself this is what women enjoy and want during lovemaking.
Dr. David Samadi, chairman of urology at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City, said that If it is of any consolation to men, research has shown that the average man lasts about six minutes. This was a study looking at premature ejaculation, where the men were timed as soon as penetration occurred and stopped when the man ejaculated.
The time ranged from a speedy six seconds to a lengthy 53 minutes, with the majority of men lasting between four to 11 minutes. Anyone lasting longer than 21 minutes was considered an outlier.
Studies like this can give men a better notion as to what is “average,” and most can likely take heart that he falls within that range.
Truth be known, most women are usually quite happy with the length of time sex lasts and are not necessarily interested in long romps in bed.
But if you’re a man, how long you can last makes a difference in your ability to feel self-confident in your bedroom performance. So if you are looking for ways to improve upon the duration of a sexual escapade, here are some helpful hints for making sex last longer:
Practice Kegel exercises faithfully
There is more evidence from research studies demonstrating the power of Kegel exercises for men in prolonging staying power in bed.
One study showed that men who had had lifelong premature ejaculation were cured after using pelvic floor exercises after several months. A 2016 review of male ejaculation found that men who do Kegel exercises could train the perineal muscles to gain better control of the point of no return in regards to ejaculation.
This is good news for men as practicing Kegel exercises can be a valid and effective treatment for a man who wishes to last longer in bed and avoid premature ejaculation.
Kegel exercises are a natural method of treating this condition as a man can avoid taking medication and avoiding side effects.
Men need to remember that as they age and testosterone levels wane, muscle mass throughout his body will slowly reduce and weaken, and that includes the pelvic floor muscles. Keep those important muscles taunt and tight with Kegels.
Orgasm isn’t everything
What! Say it isn’t so! Men tend to think of sex in terms of the end goal or why we have sex to begin with.
Orgasms are certainly pleasurable and well-worth the effort but the point of sex is much more than that.
Take the pressure off yourself and the length of time you can last. Instead, focus on making a connection with your partner that creates an atmosphere of intimacy, passion, and love.
Even if you climax early, the session doesn’t have to be over. Continue with pleasuring her in the afterplay or afterglow of lovemaking.
Trust me, if a woman senses this sort of vibe from you during sex, you’ll be considered the greatest lover on earth and it won’t matter how long you last.
Take good care of yourself
There is always something good to be said about a man who cares enough about himself to take actually take good care of himself.
Don’t think of it as being vain or selfish. Men (and women) who eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, don’t smoke or abuse alcohol, are investing in their health and well-being — and that usually results in reduced illness and less time spent sitting around in doctor’s offices.
Men particularly need to pay attention to their health as the ability to achieve and maintain a firm erection depends on good blood flow, which means a healthy circulatory system.
Having a strong heart with healthy blood flow means better stamina for sex.
Putting it into perspective
The most important thing all men need to remember is to keep the focus during sex on what your partner desires and needs as well as your own.
Communicate with one another on what feels good, putting a spotlight on the quality of the session and not how long it lasts. Very few of us can or want the sexual activity to stretch on for hours.
Remember, it’s all about the quality of the session and not the quantity of how long it lasts.
Dr. Samadi is a board-certified urologic oncologist trained in open and traditional and laparoscopic surgery and is an expert in robotic prostate surgery. He is chairman of urology, chief of robotic surgery at Lenox Hill Hospital and Professor of Urology at Hofstra North Shore-LIJ School of Medicine.